Building Positivity

I believe that our resolutions move and grow with us throughout the year. They are not necessarily moving targets, but rather indications of our growth and accomplishments. After an insightful conversation with my best friend I have come to the conclusion that I need to change the way I deal with the people in my life: friends, coworkers, family, acquaintances. I need to watch the words I use with people and be more cognizant of the connotations of what I say. So many times I have neglected the affect of my words. I hope what I am saying is more constructive than critical, but really it all sounds sort of mean. Last week I told my boss something that I am now ashamed of and my best friend something very hurtful. While I believe I had the best intentions, it became clear to me that constantly saying whatever I feel is not the best way to maintain relationships.

Part of my problem is that people have come to expect this blunt, in-your-face demeanor from me. Whenever I visit my friends they usually warn their friends that Imah will say whatever is on her mind. Or Imah, well she is just really honest and has a strong personality. While I do believe these qualities can be valued in the work place and even there I question if my approach is optimal, in my day-to-day interactions it is more important that I become the kind of friend I want to be friends with. This is difficult, but necessary for my future endeavors and the kind of person I want to become. I want to change this negative perception of me and I want to start strengthening relationships and building new strong ones.

Esosa told me I need to learn how to humble myself. This is the first step. So many times in life we want to be right. We want to be in power. We want to be respected. And so many times we maintain the status quo by putting others down and building ourselves up. But what is the point of that? This past week I have tried to be a more positive presence in the lives of the people around me. I apologized to my boss and told him how I felt, but not using wordage that sounds like I am attacking him (because I wasn’t). I apologized to a friend of mine that I hurt and told her my perspective. I began to sit and speak with students that I have cast off to the side but now realize how much we have in common and how they add to my day. I realize that being negative is only making me a toxic force when in reality I have so much potential to be positive.

Furthermore, I have discovered that having a positive attitude will have a tremendous affect on your life and outlook. When someone asks me how I am doing I am used to saying, “Ok!”, but really I feel great. I read that if you want to get over a cold instead of saying “I’m sick” saying “I am getting over something”. I am really trying to rework my approach and outlook. I am trying to be more purposeful. More importantly, I am trying to live a better life. 2011 was great, but I plan on so much happening in 2012 it is bound to be a year of growth and discovery. I need to stop letting the negative feelings I have towards myself define the relationships I have with others. Instead, I need to change what I need to change or let go of those negative feelings, and be positive.

Resolutions are can be very powerful milestones and markers for us. I am refocusing mine and thinking about how I can be the best person possible to live the best life possible.